A Letter To The President

Dear President Obama,

As you know, we are a nation of 300+ million impressionable but fretful bunch. We understand that there is a possibility that no one knows exactly how to stop the spill that is killing our oceans, which may be why it hasn't been stopped yet (as no one is actually foolish enough to believe that you would just simply allow this to happen, cause politically that's not a win), but you are supposed to look like you know how to get this done, and right fucking now, we are not getting enough of this kind of an image from you.

Please note that this oil volcano erupting IS political (even if you think it isn't), and as CIC head honcho you need to "look" like you are in command (see Jindal on CNN for pointers) as this situation, no matter what you are actually doing, has to look like it is under control (even if that's not really true) because what is most important right now are your approval ratings. So instead of doing what can be done and needs to be done backstage, your ass needs to get in front of the Television cameras right fucking now, and you need to engineer a bush-like bullhorn moment.

If you recall when Morgan Freeman played President in that movie where the Asteriod was heading towards the U.S., things didn't end well for him, especially after the asteriod struck.

See, this may be the part you aren't getting.....you don't have to really know how to stop the spill, nor do you really have to implement a plan, you just have to look like you are in charge...say, like a fake cowboy holding a bullhorn standing on some type of rumble (in your case a Boat in the oil will do fine.....hey! You could look like Washington crossing the Delaware you know!) After that, you should lasso up some BP executives and twist their arms behind their backs and force them to say on national Teevee that they really knew how to stop the spill but they just aren't willing to, (because in their hearts of hearts, once this shit happened, they really wanted the American people to rise up against Offshore Drilling).

It's really not that hard you know! All you need are cameras, and I know you've got some of those in your posse, cause I saw you on camera during the middle of the day, talking about the spill in the rain (but politically, that was ages ago...and plus, you didn't have any props, cause rain don't count!)

Of course if CNN and the rest of the media tries to say that you are just in it for the photo op (and I'm sure they will....but don't worry about that, cause we've got your back--well maybe, maybe not) and that you still don't have an answer (since no one actually seems to to date), you can always order the nukes based on some theories and look really tough and bad and mean (and some of us have been waiting for you to look just like that that for ages)! That's what Americans love; heros who are looking like they are doing tough stuff.

So hurry the fuck up, cause the Internet is having a heart attack worrying about how this "looks" for you politically (some are practically salivating in fact), cause there ain't shit else that the Internet can do right now.

So, Mr. President, This is how you get up to 90% approval ratings! 

Of course, if you were Reagan, nothing would be your fault anyways, so a speech would do. I know, I know, you have given speeches to date on the oil spill, but they weren't televised at prime time so they don't count (cause if we don't see it, it ain't happening). So perhaps you could give a speech like Reagan did rallying Americans to be strong after the Challenger tragedy.

Of course, Carter didn't have any luck, and considering how Democrats treated him at the time,
he certainly didn't do enough....

(Remember Iran?

That was the end of that,

And of course THAT'S why we ended up with Reagam

Of course, the last Democratic President, well...remember when he did nothing?

(Can you say Rwanda?)

That turned out ok, but only because the something he didn't do had something to do with a faraway land....while what we are talking about here affects Americans and nature and so even if this is a catastrophe of unmeasurable proportion, you need get busy looking like you are managing this nightmare shit....cause that's why we elected you; to be in control of shit, even if the shit is out of control!

So please, start looking like you are doing something, cause "Looking like" is more powerful to most Americans than anything that you could ever actually "do".

We have an election in November, and we need you looking Presidential, strong, in control and keeping our shit together. That's your job, and you need to get it done right fucking Now!

What should you do? I don't know, but do something to make you look like you are doing something, even if you are already doing something, cause we aren't seeing it, and if we aren't seeing it, than we can't be sure that you are doing it, and at the end, that's what counts here in America!

Fed Up American