Stupid Is As Stupid Does

OK, I'm bitter. I lost my American flag lapel pin while I was rolling gutter balls at the bowling alley.

And afterwards they were out of orange juice at the blue-collar diner where I go for my photo opps with "Cup of Joe" Lieberman. Also, I don't own any guns so I can't bitterly cling to them or vent my anger on the few remaining critters within driving distance of the one tank of gas I can afford for my Hummer.

And my flag lapel pin ... honey, have you seen my flag lapel pin?! I can't go out in public without the flag lapel pin! That's like streaking!

Have you noticed we live in a stupid nation now?

It's little wonder. We've had eight years of pure stupid in the White House. And during that time, we the people have been massaged by a stupid media, hectored by stupid hypocrites and stupid moralists, terrified by stupid extremists, pandered to by stupid politicians, lied to by stupid military experts on the TV (see last Sunday's New York Times for details).

It's the natural law of Stupid in/Stupid out.

Welcome to the United States of Stupidity.

It used to be that just the so-called "Red States" (come to think of it, the Red-Blue thing was pretty stupid) were allergic to facts. But now it's all of us. We just sit here and take it all in, complain about gas prices when oil companies run the White House, wonder why the airlines are collapsing and there is no transportation alternative: It's the stupidity, stupid!

While we were sidetracked by John Edwards' haircuts, the oil companies got Congress to destroy Amtrak for them — Bangladesh now has a more efficient passenger rail system than we do. While we sat transfixed by the magnificence of Angelina Jolie's lips and Britney Spears' shaven crotch, Croatia, Latvia and Albania moved ahead of the United States on the global Environmental Sustainability Index. While we munched freedom fries and stockpiled duct tape, our national treasury was looted. And so on.

We the people didn't used to be this dumb.

Maybe we're just stupefied by all the stupid.